Response to Course Material #2

Death of a Salesman:Film

    The 1985 version of Death of a Salesman, followed the 1949 play with accuracy and detail. The performance given by Dustin Hoffman as Willy Loman and John Malkovich as Biff Loman was  astounding and really spoke truth to Arther Miller's characters'. I had never seen an adaptation of the play before so I have nothing to compare the 1985 version to, but I do not see how it could've been done any better. The set followed the book description, as well as the flute music in the background, withered Mr. and Mrs. Loman, and the displeasing sons. An interpretation the film made was what Willy would be doing that triggered his frequent flashbacks/daydreams. Specifically, whenever Willy would flashback  to the time Biff found Willy's mistress, or moments before, they were triggered by Willy looking at his reflection. This little technique did not disrupt the comprehension of the play's storyline;instead it helped the audience realize how bothered Willy was by that particular memory. Another interpretation that the film made that elaborated on the play was the white light that seemed to follow Ben. Ben was dressed very dapper and in all white which starkly constrained with Willy's slouchy tan colored work clothes. Willy's brother seems to appear almost like an angel with all the light that seems to radiate from him. On page 44 of DOAS in the stage directions, Miller describes Ben to have "an aura of far places about him." When reading this, I thought that far place was Heaven which makes sense since Ben had died years before the play took place. Overall, I thought the film was very powerful because it gave a real depiction of how the simple desire of wanting success for yourself and your family can destroy a person.

Poem

The poem we read in class about , presumably, a man reminiscing about his father and the story he told him as a child about a day he spent with his father (speaker's grandfather) harvesting corn. As a class, we analyzed diction and imagery used in the poem. My favorite image invoked by the poem was of the masculine hands scooping tiny pink mice from the fertile dirt. After we discussed how this image could symbolize how men played a fundamental role in the nurturing and care of their children was really beautiful to me. The connection made between fatherhood and nature stood in my mind and was revisited when I read Death of a Salesman. Biff had dreams of going West and working on farms because this made him feel more of a man, a human, than working in the city did. Also, I saw the idea again when Willy is planting seeds in the front yard. I do not think it is by coincidence that soon after Willy is planting vegetables, his beloved son Biff decides to abandon his own roots and leave...for good. I saw the link between the poem and the play the best when I thought about the passing down of traits from father to son. In the poem, storytelling was passed down by fathers to their sons, as well as the active prescene. The speaker's grandfather was a strong figure in his son's life, who grew up to be a strong figure in the speaker's life. In the play, Willy's father had a desire for success and in his pursuit, abandoned Willy. Willy spent his life trying to meet his father's expectations (although he probably never spoke with father). Once he had developed a load of insecurities being the the "unsuccessful son" and never becoming a prominent salesman, she goes on to sell the idea of success and adhering to his father's drive for commercial success to his sons.

Open Response 2004 Student Response

2004 Student Sample Response: Student #1 –Score:8

            The reading selections these students had to read seem very similar and required solid analytical skills to find their differences. However, Student 1 seemed to have no problem cracking the code. Not only does this student notice that “these two poems by Dickinson and Frost share the element of dark or night,” she recognizes that “the poets speak from different perspectives.” The student notes that Dickinson’s “darkness” is more applicable to “change to depression to a creative block, a lack of inspiration.” In Frost’s poem, he speaks of darkness in a more “desolate” and pessimistic tone. According to this student, darkness, in Dickinson’s poem is “merely the absence of a guiding light.”To further explain how Dickinson’s poem is more optimistic, she elaborates on the end of the poem that “Though one may “sometimes hit a Tree,” he learns from his mistakes. There is hope for a normal life.” Student one contrasts that the negative tone of Frost’s poem by discussing the author’s use of “Dreary images of “[sad] city [lanes]” and an “interrupted cry” create a sense of loneliness. The commentator is absolutely correct when they says “this essay is a candidate in control of both language and argument.” Student one does not leave any claim undefended or lacking in evidence.

Student #2-Score: 6

            Right away, this student recognizes how Dickinson’s poem “finds…acceptance of the darkness,” and Frost’s “places a negative connotation on night.” In the first body paragraph, the student supports their statement by pointing out how in Dickinson’s poem, she mentions “how one “grow(s) accustomed” to the Dark” and “conditions himself” to the Dark. Here, the student is making it clear, that through diction, Dickinson is saying that “we” adapt to darkness. However, the student argues that Dickinson is doing this through imagery.  Perhaps this is what the commentator meant by “the writer never plumbs the full implications of the poetic devices detailed so well.” In the third body paragraph, the student’s topic sentence is “The structure of Dickinson’s poem also allows a beginning of hope.” However, what the student really discusses throughout this paragraph is how the tone is hopeful, not the structure. Another issue with this paragraph, the writer ends it discussing the negative tone of Frost’s poem and how it contrasts with Dickinson’s. It would have been better if the student had mentioned in their topic sentence how Dickinson’s “hopeful” tone contrasted with Frost’s “negative” tone. The writer does an excellent job recognizing how Frost’s poem gets progressively darker with each stanza and supplied adequate evidence, which is probably why they received a six.

Student #3-Score: 3

            In the last open prompt and this one, I’ve noticed that the student with the best handwriting receives the worst score. Has anyone else noticed that? Anyway, this student seemed to have a difficult time understanding either of the poems and decided just to write down as many literary terms and quotations they could in the allotted time. The student knows there literary terms, but incorrectly interprets their purpose. For example, this student argues that the use caesura is to “tells us that the visual imagery is vague, constantly retracing her thoughts.” Not only is the phrasing confusing, but the evidence is not substantial. The writer makes a claim in the second body paragraph that “Frost is “acquainted” to the night, where in Dickinson’s poem…” Stop. Right there, you think they are on to something about how Dickinson’s poem is different because she says how “we” are more “accustomed” to the night. However, the student continues on with “…darkness appears with the night.” I had similar moments like this where I felt the student was about to say something great, but they never gave in-depth reasoning to their claims. Had the student is lacking the deep analysis in their essay compared to the other two students. The commentator describes the writer’s language as “convoluted” and says the essay’s “brevity does not allow for full discussion of either poem…”I agree with the commentator that this essay is deserving of a three.

American Dream Summary/Analysis

Author

Born March 12, 1928, Edward Albee grew up in Larchmont, New York with his adoptive parents where he spent a good portion of his adolescence getting kicked out of various schools. Albee moved to Greenwich Village, NY in his late teens and wrote his first play Zoo Story in 1958. Some of his works include: Who’s Afraid of Virgina Wolf? (Which received a Tony for Best Play in 1962), The Sandbox (1959), and The Goat: of Who is Sylvia? (2002).

Setting

The setting is left pretty ambiguous. The play takes place in an apartment in an unnamed city, during an unknown time. It is an expensive apartment with a standard living room consisting of two armchairs, a sofa, and an archway. The lack of detail given to the plays setting provides more room for the characters’ qualities to stand out. Another aspect of not putting the play in a defined time is the characters and story itself, are timeless.

Plot

The play begins with Mommy and Daddy sitting on opposite sides of the living room in their armchairs. The couple is complaining about how people can get away with anything these days and are waiting for a guest who is running late. To pass the time, Mommy entertains Daddy by telling him how she purchased a beige colored hat the other day--which she was happy with until she ran into the chairman of the women’s club. The chairman insisted the hat was wheat-colored and Mommy immediately returned the hat for a new one and “got satisfaction.” Grandma enters the room with several neatly wrapped boxes and rambles on about how everyone talks down to old people. Grandma says the reason old people go deaf is so they don’t have to listen to people condescending them. Mommy sheds some history on Grandma’s wrapped boxes and shares with Daddy how Grandma used to nicely wrap her lunchbox for her--always filled it with leftovers. Mommy used to show off her ornate lunch box to the other kids at lunch, however, she ate their lunches and brought the untouched lunch home for Grandma. Grandma and Mommy get in an argument afterward and Grandma calls Mommy a tramp because she lives off Daddy’s money in exchange for allowing him to get ontop of her and “ bump uglies.” Finally, the doorbell rings and Mrs. Barker enters the apartment, although no one remembers why they asked her to come. Mrs. Barker is a self-proclaimed “professional woman”, and Mommy and her compete for matriarchal dominance for the remainder of the play. Mrs. Barker , Mommy, and Daddy talk about Mr. Barker, Daddy’s surgery, and occupations. Mommy and Daddy exit the living room, leaving Grandma alone with Mrs. Barker. Grandma tells her guest a story, alluding to Mommy and Daddy, to indirectly remind Mrs. Barker she is there to sell another child (or as they say, “bumble of joy”) to Mommy and Daddy for adoption. After realizing why she had come in the first place, Mrs. Barker exits and a young man rings the doorbell. Grandma opens the door to find a young man described as a “Clean-cut, midwest farm boy type” and announces to the house that the “American Dream” has arrived. The young man/ American Dream reveals he is void of emotion and will do anything for money. His arrival is a signal for Grandma to pack up her bags and leave town and he is the solution to Mommy’s unsatisfaction.

Significant Characters

Mommy: Wife to Daddy and  prime example  of the superficial consumers that make up the middle-to-upper class America. Mommy is sadistic, egotistical, and needs to always be the single controller of her household.  

Grandma: Mother of  Mommy and the voice of reason in the play. Grandma’s appearance suggests she is fragile and decrepit but, she is the only character that is closest to being a functioning human. She provides frank, and sometimes vulgar, commentary on old people, other characters, and the pretentious society she lives in.

Daddy: His only function is to provide for Mommy’s lifestyle (money, apartment, husband-figure) but, when he is not able to give Mommy children, due to his emasculation, he is rendered useless. Daddy feeds off the approval of his wife and lacks any sense of authority or decisiveness.

Mrs. Barker: A professional woman, chairman of the woman’s club, and volunteer at Bye-Bye Adoption center. Mrs. Barker holds a high status within the feminine community and gives Mommy and Daddy their first, and second, adopted sons. She remains pretty oblivious to her surroundings and her purpose is to provide Mommy and Daddy with the satisfaction they have been looking for.

Young Man: Referred to by Grandma as the “American Dream”, his hollow being is a product of the murder of his identical-twin. The young man says he has suffered a “departure of innocence”, which is unaware as a result of his brother’s dismemberment, and confesses he will do just about anything for money. The handsome man mentions he did some modeling out West, however, he finds his next “job” is being Mommy’s new adopted son.

Voice

Critics will suggest that Albee uses Grandma as his puppet to infiltrate his pessimistic views on new American morals but, overall the dialogue follows the absurdist style. This is done through cyclical monologues, cliches, and the misuse of words.

Style

Albee’s The American Dream, in many ways, follows the pattern set by the Theatre of the Absurd.The play brings attention to societal issues by putting everyday characters in absurd situations “to convey their sense of bewilderment, anxiety, and wonder in the face of an inexplicable universe (Crabb).” What detaches Albee from the typical “Theatre of the Absurd” pattern is that the conclusion of the play does not end where the story began;  not making a cyclical story line.

Point of View

If you consider Albee’s background, you can make possible connections of how it influenced The American Dream. Albee spent his adolescence in and out of expensive prep schools, assumably to his adoptive parent’s wishes. This probably made young Albee unhappy with his parents forcing him to be a part of their efforts to attain a higher social status. Infact, he has often mentioned in interviews how disconnected he felt with his adoptive parents. Mommy represents stereotypical housewives competing with other women to be the most stereotypical housewife by creating a facade of success and total fulfillment. The men in this play are weak, which is a result of the emasculated American Dream that has swept over society. Grandma’s moral voice promotes the idea that with age comes wisdom. Grandma tells Mommy during one of their arguments “...you got the rhythm, but you don’t really have the quality. Besides, you’re middle-aged.” Grandma is making the comment that Mommy is not quite developed yet, and does not have the capacity to understand the world around her.

Tone

This play is a comedy which can be seen in Grandma’s bashing sarcasm, over-exaggeration of emotions or simple tasks (fetching water and hat story), and dark humor. Pointing out the flaws in the American Dream in a humorous light enables the audience to laugh but, also realize the foolishness in their society.

Imagery

Physical details are reserved for Grandma and the Young Man--none of the other character’s semblance is described. Grandma says she looks “just as much like an old man as I do like an old woman”, and her “sacks are empty, the fluid in my eyeballs is all caked on the inside edges, my spine is made of sugar candy,...” Because Grandma represents traditional American morals and goals, her unappealing appearance adds to her contrast with the handsome Young Man (New American Dream). There is also attention to detail when describing the violent mutilation of Mommy and Daddy’s first adopted son and , Daddy’s sexual reassignment surgery.

Symbolism

A symbol  for masculinity representing power is best represented in Daddy’s sex changed. Without his male-parts, he is powerless. Mommy wants nothing more from him than his money and he hold no authority in the household. Mommy views being decisive as masculine. The only time Daddy displays his “masculinity” is when Mommy coaches him to answer the door and praises him with “WHAT a masculine Daddy! Isn’t he a masculine Daddy?” In actuality, Mommy is the most decisive, meaning she is the most masculine and there is no doubt she holds the power in the household. The couple’s unhealthy dynamic represents the toxic threat the constant desire for domination puts on men and women.

Theme

There are several themes in The American Dream but, the all encompassing theme is superficial satisfaction. All of the characters, except Grandma, have the false idea that complete satisfaction is an achievable goal. The new American dream is devoid o f sincerity and appreciation for hard-work and therefore, people only recognize success in materialistic forms. Mommy and Daddy thought that by adopting their first child, they would attain satisfaction. However, when they got their “bumble”, Mommy unsatisfied , once again, and murdered the child in efforts to conform the child to meet her expectations. Grandma is arguably the only character in the play that has the potential to actually be content with her life. Because Mommy is so self-absorbed, it is inevitable that she will ruin her new adoptive son (Young Man) just like the other one. Grandma is leaving the apartment. Her idea of satisfaction was freedom. She does not expect that she will be satisfied with new life but, she has a greater chance than her daughter. The last lines of the play are those of Grandma interjecting and saying “let’s leave things as they are right now...while everybody’s got what he wants...or everybody’s got what he thinks he wants.”By having a vague ending like this, Albee suggests that under the new American Dream, no one can be satisfied because once they get what the think they want, they desire more.

Close Reading: What it means to be cool in 2013

        This month, Slate.com is doing a feature on the evolution of “cool” and its future. I read

the article “Cool Story: What does cool even mean in 2013?” which focused on the original

origins of the word “cool” up to its present meaning. The author makes sure to discuss this

informal topic in a collegiate style with elevated diction, intelligent details, and clever usage of

language.

         The author uses colorful diction that keeps the reader entertained and still feeling they

are reading a formal piece of writing. For example, the article begins by discussing mainstream

psychedelic-rock band MGMT’s video for “Cool Song No. 2”.The author describes the avant-
garde video to be “loaded with signposts of cool”. Using the word “signposts” is an example of

connotative diction because the video does not literally contain signs providing directions for

the nearest “cool” location. Infact, the video contains no signs at all. Instead, there is trendy

clothing, futuristic furnishings, and bizarre art that the author considered to be visually cool.

Another example of connotative diction being used in the article, was when the author said the

word “cool” was used to describe the “emotional textures” of the jazz era/Harlem Renaissance.

Texture is being used in another way than its literal meaning yet, it conveys a coherent

message. This article is mostly written in elevated diction. To convey that this article has a

serious purpose and deserves intellectual consideration, the author uses impressive vocabulary.

One does not necessarily need to use flowery words in order to sound intelligent; however, this

approach is often taken by writers. I think in this case, the pompous-writing style works

because the author is methodically and analytically observing a topic that, at first, can seem

amateur.

        To make this article less of a rant about how “uncool” 2013 has become, the author

uses historical details to perpetuate the fact that the word “cool” is multi-dimensional and has

deep roots. The article is structured to follow a timeline, starting before the Africans were

brought as slaves to America, to the present year of 2013. Historical evidence is brought into

this article by references to essays, written by various American intellectuals over the years.

The author mentions how “Cool has come a long way, literally” and refers back to a 1973 essay

written by a noted art historian called “An Aesthetic of the Cool.” In which, the historian

describes how the concept of acting “cool” is derived from a “West African Yoruba idea of

itutu—a quality of denoting composure in the face of danger, as well as playfulness, humor,

generosity, and conciliation.” By adding strong details such as these, the article develops

greater purpose then just commentary on modern society. It provides a historical lesson by

collecting information from different sources, and conveniently putting them into one article.

        I have a difficult time differentiating language from diction, however, I felt that

alliteration was better described as a feature of language. The author has a habit (consciously

or not) of using alliteration. This installation keeps the article playful and poetic while making

clever descriptions. Examples of the author’s alliteration are “cruel, of course, and

competitive”, “Dull, derivative outfit”, “another artist’s aura”, “Flexibility and fluidity”, and

“morality into modernity”. Personally, I loved these poetic moments for two reasons. One

being the author often refers to American poets in the article—making the author’s own lyrical

writing seem impressionistic. Secondly, it is simply clever. Using playful language does not take

away any of the writer’s credibility (why should I punish him for being entertaining?). It just

balances out the elevated diction by making the article less intimidating and more laid back.


http://www.slate.com/articles/life/cool_story/2013/09/the_history_and_future_of_cool_what_does_the_term_mean_in_2013.html

Responding to Course Material and Connecting to Other Works

        Analyzing literature for the basic elements of diction and syntax has really enabled me to

absorb more of an author’s intentions than I figured possible. I believed that the only way to

understand a play or novel was to recognize motifs, symbols, and abstract concepts. In the first

two weeks of class that we devoted to diction and syntax, my respect for writers increased as I

realized how they use the simplest concepts to explain major ideas. For example, when the class

dissected excerpt by F. Scott Fitzgerald, I had no knowledge of the original work the excerpt was

taken from. However, when asked to focus on the author’s word choice, I slowly began to piece

together the main focus of the story. Fitzgerald’s narrator used colloquial diction while offering

little description. The simple language suggested a “simple-minded” narrator. Not to say the

narrator was lacking intelligence, but rather an inclination to use pretty, descriptive words. The

class agreed that this was because the narrator did not have time to describe his surroundings in

detail because he was in a moving bus. The narrator also noted that the bus was steadily

approaching a steep incline. Ms. Holmes told us that Fitzgerald is known for being meticulous

about his word choice and had a purpose for each word he used. We came to the conclusion that

approaching a steep incline was an allusion to upcoming challenges for the speaker. It turns out

the narrator was a young soldier on his way to an army camp. In this exercise, I learned not to

ignore descriptive words when reading literature. Authors, unlike most students, do not just

throw descriptive words because they want to “spice things up”; they use description because it

is a means of telling the story without overtly stating the obvious. By just paying attention to

diction (and a little assistance from Ms. Holmes) the class was able to use this short excerpt to

predict that the rest of the story followed a young soldier’s harrowing adventures in war and

journey to manhood.

         The activity that helped me understand how authors use syntax as a literary tool was

analyzing The Lottery Ticket by Anton Chekhov. The short story begins with the humble Ivan

Dmitritch and his wife talking about checking the newspaper for the winning lottery numbers.

The dialogue is pretty flat. They seem like a couple who are past the “honeymoon” stage of their

marriage and idly respond to one another just to keep the peace. The matching ticket numbers act

as a catalyst in the story and Ivan comes to life. He indulges in lengthy monologues about how

wonderful his new life will be slips into a daydream about the beautiful estate he desires. When

describing Ivan’s daydream, the sentences grow longer and lacks conjunctions—providing a

lofty, poetic structure. After Ivan awakes from his daydream, he is very irritable. Chekhov

expresses this through heavy use of punctuation. For example, Ivan begins creating hypothetical

situations in his mind concerning his wife and begins to distrust her,” she had spent so much

money. . . . At the stations he would continually be having to run for boiling water, bread and

butter. . . . She wouldn't have dinner because of its being too dear. . . .” This use of punctuation is

seen in the rest of the story when Ivan is thinking to himself. It makes him sound sort of crazy. I

could not help but picture him hunched over, writhing his hands together while he goes through

this Jekyll and Hyde routine. I think ultimately I learned that analyzing syntax is mostly paying

attention to patterns.

          Connecting Existentialism and the Theatre of the Absurd to Albee’s The American

Dream has been insightful and helps me better understand other “absurd” works. Although I

believe The American Dream deserves a category of its own, the play has qualities that follow

the Theatre of the Absurd. A main one being Albee’s parody of everyday language. The

characters in the play speak with little logic or coherence. He makes fun of stereotypical adult

speech to point out to the audience the necessity of having meaningful and authentic

conversations. Albee’s bizarre characters and dialogue, in the perspective of the Theatre of the

Absurd, is a technique used to raise awareness in the people. In Crabb’s essay, Theartre of the

Absurd, he writes,” The Absurd Theatre hopes to achieve [making man aware of their realities]

by shocking man out of an existence that has become trite, mechanical and complacent.” This is

an important issue in the The American Dream. Albee highlights how society is merely breeding

consumers and lacks traditional morals. Grandma is a foil to the young American Dream,

however, the two are drawn toward one another. Grandma has the most substance of anyone in

the play, but her appearance is undesirable. In contrast, the young American dream is very

attractive, but admittedly lacks emotion. Together, Grandma (old American Dream) and the

young man would be complete but, that is not possible considering the age gap between them.

Crabb later states how some critics say Theatre of the Absurd “has gone the way of the

dinosaur.” However, there are others (including Albee and Martin Esslin) who think otherwise.

Theatre of the Absurd encouraged a broadening of human perception and opened up new

methods of expression, and therefore will always be a reference for writers.

        Just yesterday, I watched a film called Ruby Sparks about a genius novelist, Calvin, who

has found himself crippled (not literally) by writer’s block. He loathes leaving his posh office

and interacting with anyone besides his older brother, shrink, or pesky dog. After having a dream

about a girl named Ruby, Calvin is inspired to write again. The absurd element comes into play,

when Calvin wakes up to find Ruby physically in his apartment. Everyone can see and interact

with Ruby, however, her actions are still at the will of what Calvin writes with his type-writer. A

key element in Theatre of the Absurd is a lack of reasoning for something absurd. Calvin is

bewildered when Ruby comes to life and doesn’t try to seek out an explanation. After realizing

Ruby was not a hallucination, Calvin leaps on the opportunity to be with his dream-girl. Even

Calvin’s, “no nonsense” brother goes along with Ruby’s absurd exisience for the simple fact

that it makes his brother happy. I immediately recognized the motif of an absurdist play.

Average guy has a dream, followed by a surreal series of events. In Existentialism 101, it says

characters are overcome with anxiety once they realize they must take responsibility for their

actions and will try to escape them. This flight usually results in self-denial, which Calvin

demonstrates by telling himself he will not write anymore—which would alter Ruby; It isn’t

until she starts growing independent from Calvin that he abuses his power to control her. In a

moment of rage, Calvin shows Ruby how much power he has over her by openly commanding

(actually, writing) her to list the reasons she loves him while spinning in circles, simulating a

strip tease, and acting like a dog. This was a bizarre way of showing how men will try to change

and manipulate perfectly functioning women for their own convenience. Calvin quickly regrets

his actions and completes his novel by directing Ruby to leave the apartment and forget her past.

The final words he types are “Ruby was free.” All Calvin wanted was a normal life. He didn’t

want to be a “genius” because it implied he was above average—which, to him, entailed a lonely

life. “If an individual is to live meaningfully and authentically, he or she must become fully

aware of the true character of the human situation and bravely accept it (Existentialism 101).”

When Calvin assumes the responsibility as both Ruby’s creator and lover, and gives her freedom

and the ability to truly be human. I think this movie is influenced by existential view on life by

emphasizing choice, freedom, and responsibility, done in a manner that could be considered

Theatre of the Absurd. Had I not read The American Dream and had access to resources such as

Existentialism 101, I probably would not have enjoyed Ruby Sparks as much and appreciated it’s

deeper meaning.

2005 Student Response: Student 1C

    The third student's response to the prompt lacks the deep analysis, literary knowledge, and supportive detail of the other two essays. The student is able to recognize the narrators' conflicting views toward God,however, they fail to provide direct evidence that supports it. Instead, the student uses their own presumptions to back up her argument. Another flaw in this students argument, is that this is the only one they make in there essay. It is true that religion played a significant role in both poems but, the student could have explained how syntax, diction, and imagery were used. There actually was one more argument this student had, but they mentioned it in their intro and never mentioned it again. The student argued, "the poems are different...because of the hopeful tone at the end of the first, and the hopeless tone at the end of the second." This is a good start for her literary argument, but the student never shares the contents of the different endings. This detail, and more frequent usage of literary vocabulary,might have resulted in a higher score for the student.

2005 Student Response: Student 1B

    In the case of the second student’s essay, it is clear that they have adequate analysis skills and literary knowledge. However, they fell short at times to abide to the prompt. They focused mostly on the comparisons between the poems ,  and though providing evidence; they ignored the contrasts until the third body paragraph. The third paragraph focused on the poems narrators’ conflicting views on religion. In poem one, the student states that “God can be seen as a protector of the children…”, and provides a direct quote from the poem. In the next sentence, the student begins the second poem “ establishes God as the creator of their suffering, and thus, creates a much different tone. This was the shining moment in the essay. The student then expands on the eighteenth century poet’s purpose of writing the two poems to enlighten his local politicians. The student adds how the power of art is still strong today and could help solve  modern societal issues. I really liked how the student included that and made the essay come full circle. I think what would’ve improved the student’s score would’ve been to either provide more details on how the poem’s use of syntax were related. The paragraph devoted to syntax/rhyme scheme was very weak compared to the others, or as the AP commenter said, “The discussion of rhyme, however, is perfunctory.” The brief paragraph might have been an eye sore for the judges which explains why the student received a 6 rather than maybe a high 7or, low 8.