2005 Student Response: Student 1B

    In the case of the second student’s essay, it is clear that they have adequate analysis skills and literary knowledge. However, they fell short at times to abide to the prompt. They focused mostly on the comparisons between the poems ,  and though providing evidence; they ignored the contrasts until the third body paragraph. The third paragraph focused on the poems narrators’ conflicting views on religion. In poem one, the student states that “God can be seen as a protector of the children…”, and provides a direct quote from the poem. In the next sentence, the student begins the second poem “ establishes God as the creator of their suffering, and thus, creates a much different tone. This was the shining moment in the essay. The student then expands on the eighteenth century poet’s purpose of writing the two poems to enlighten his local politicians. The student adds how the power of art is still strong today and could help solve  modern societal issues. I really liked how the student included that and made the essay come full circle. I think what would’ve improved the student’s score would’ve been to either provide more details on how the poem’s use of syntax were related. The paragraph devoted to syntax/rhyme scheme was very weak compared to the others, or as the AP commenter said, “The discussion of rhyme, however, is perfunctory.” The brief paragraph might have been an eye sore for the judges which explains why the student received a 6 rather than maybe a high 7or, low 8.